Why Leaders Don’t Lead
“A poll of over one million workers in the US by Gallup found that leaving a bad manager was the number one reason why workers quit, with 75% of those who left voluntarily doing so because of their boss and not the job itself.””
In my change management work, I spend a lot of time talking to employees about what keeps them at their jobs and what motivates them to leave. Much like the Gallup quote above, their answer is almost unanimously leadership-related: I'm not supported by my leader. My leader doesn't want me to grow. My leader doesn't recognize me or value what I contribute. My leader is bad.
In my executive coaching work, I spend time with leaders who have been on the receiving end of this feedback. Through 360s or engagement surveys or exit interviews or water cooler gossip, these leaders are told that they're The Reason for attrition, failure and low morale. While I don't agree that the fault rests 100% on the shoulders of leadership-- I believe there is a partnership between leaders and employees where both parties are equally accountable (in different ways) for success, engagement and satisfaction-- our coaching relationship means I spend a lot of time with leaders wading through this uncomfortable feedback. It's in these conversations that leaders redefine their leadership style and voice. What do they want their legacy to be? What motivates them to lead and what examples are they drawing on?
Through change and coaching and being the bearer of hard-truth feedback results, I've heard myriad reasons (not excuses, reasons) why leaders don't/won't/can't lead and it's not because they made a decision to be unremarkable. More often, the underlying cause of "bad" is something more vulnerable and fixable. Here's what I hear:
I don't know how to lead. Somehow, this person ended up in a leadership position without the needed care, training, or mentorship to help them become an effective leader for that organization. They applied for a job or were promoted because they demonstrated 80% of the skills necessary to get the job done, and then they were dropped into the deep end.
I'm afraid. The number of times I hear fear-as-reason would astound you. These are leaders who don't believe they can trust their superiors, who are afraid to rock the boat, and exist in a miasma of consequences and slights. They're strung so tightly with terror that their subordinate teams absorb the stress and trauma; these teams get hit with the projected fear through reactive or punitive behavior.
I didn't choose this. This is a leader who wanted to keep doing and being excellent at doing, but for whatever reason they were moved up in to a position of leadership, probably because they're great at driving initiatives but have no interest in driving a vision. Side note: developing leadership skills and developing leaders are two different things.
I don't know how to define myself as leader versus manager versus mentor. These leaders haven't distinguished their leadership style and their personal role as leader, and they're still trying to play too many parts. Big spoiler: they're unsuccessful at all three because they cannot and should not be everything to everyone.
I don't get to lead the way I want to. These are people who feel called to lead, but their style threatens the status quo so they're mentored or directed to adapt. They cannot be themselves and it shows. Their staff and peers can see through the cracks in the patina, breeding distrust and resentment at what are perceived as untruths or insincere behavior.
None of these reasons are unfixable. But instead of boosting leaders, fostering environments of continuous development, and truly assessing the next generation's readiness and willingness to lead, we hastily backfill attrits and build engagement programs.
If an overwhelming majority of people believe there's an epidemic of bad leadership, let's begin with understanding, humanizing, and supporting leaders-- whoever and however they show up.
