Boss The Eff Up

When the COVID-19 pandemic arrived in Virginia and we began our 2-week/90-day/18-month quarantine, I was working a full-time day job, teaching part-time, prepping for a new show and in the thick of audition season for the next year, and building Uproar. That's how I lived and loved my life; bouncing from activity to activity, needing variations of this schedule to keep me balanced and to offset the "woofs" of some stuff with the "woos" of the others.

And then teaching stopped.
And then theatre stopped.
And the day job kept going.

When I started Uproar, I had a 3-year plan during which I'd intentionally grow the business and start to rebalance my day-job and my coaching practice. By the end of three years, I'd be coaching full-time.

But the day-job work I was doing wasn't fulfilling me. Until everything else had been stripped away, I didn't realize how unhappy I was and how much I was deluding myself that I could hang on for three years while distracting myself with other activities. I couldn't hang. I shouldn't. The signs were there, demanding a major change and I ignored them and explained them away. Not only did I deserve to treat myself better than that, but the people around me (my team and coworkers) deserved to have the best version of someone else instead of the phoned-in version of me.
And so in November I sat down with James and we had that awkward, awful conversation about what it meant to leave my job; what it meant to work for myself and supercharge the three year plan; what the hustle and the monthly income had to be to keep a roof over our heads and the lights on. I was sad and I was so, so scared.
I'm lucky to have had-- and still have-- my partner's support and the enthusiasm of my friends and family. But in that moment, when I picked up the phone to give notice, it was just me. It was the most alone I've ever felt in my entire life, and it was also the moment when I felt incrementally lighter.
Here's what career counselors or business coaches may not tell you: by the time you're thinking about making a job change, you've already started on that journey and your heart is catching up to your mind. Your business brain is in overdrive while your emotional core is packing its bags. Others around you are going to notice a change in you, whether or not you acknowledge it in yourself. You can tell when someone is faking it for themselves. You can see the cracks. You know what I'm talking about.
And like me, you might overlook the signs because... well... it might feel easier even though it's actually adding a metaphorical stone to your job bucket. You might also overlook the signs because of the alone-ness and heartache that comes from the possibility of leaving people behind, FOMO, dinging your reputation, etc. Those are very real fears, but hear me when I say that the change itself will bring new people, new opportunities and reputation boosts like you wouldn't believe.
Let me make this a little easier for you. Thinking of making a change? Here's an old-school Cosmo quiz to help you decide if it's time to make the leap, AND it applies to facets of your life beyond career and business. For each numbered statement, choose your response, A or B

1. You've been making excuses about Things.​

   ​ a. Ok, but like there's a perfectly reasonable explanation...​
   b. Unapologetic. Mostly.

2. You've forgotten your lines, those things that you used to say easily when you were in-it-to-win-it.
   a. Sorry, what were you asking?
   b. I know what to say in every situation. It's carefully scripted and I don't have to think about it.

3. Your passion is on the fritz.
   a. Why did I ever commit to this?
   b. It's just a dip, I'll bounce back.

4. You can no longer shake off the small stuff.
   a. But what if it's just a bunch a little things stacked up and it feels really big?
   b. Taylor Swift's song is running on repeat!

5. You cry when the alarm goes off.
   a. Oh.
   b. Actually, I remembered this video I watched on the Dodo of this dog rescue and I got a little misty.
   

Okay, now count up your A's and B's
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Just kidding. If anything above rings true, it's time. Move. Act. Leap. You're ready. What do you need to put in place to make the change? What's one thing you can do today to get started? How will you celebrate your choice? When will you commit to choosing yourself and your business?

I promise you're not alone, but no one is coming to do this for you. I'm with your cheering section and we're waiting for you on the other side.