Opportunity Without Pressure
I recently sat down with a group of executive women to support them in an open, big conversation about knowing how and when to take an opportunity and make a transition. They were strangers to each other, their shared commonality being the dual loneliness of leadership and being women in leadership roles.
Too often there’s an expectation that when a leader arrives at a Director or VP or C-level position, they’ve got it all figured out. They don’t. They’re still bumping into decisions and successes like everyone in their reporting chain, but the impacts of those bumps are more visible and can be more costly.
This uncertainty may be especially pronounced when it comes to making decisions about what’s next in their lives.
They run smack into a swirl of questions:
What do I want?
Am I ready to take the next leap?
Am I set up for success?
Am I progressing because I want to?
So often these questions activate our imposter inner voices and we overthink and overwhelm ourselves.
I invited them to take a moment to reflect on where they are in their lives, or their careers, especially if they’ve had that itch to make a move. To simplify the swirl, we channeled that reflection through three questions:
How do you know it’s time for a change?
What are your (internal) drivers or motivators to make the change?
What external factors are inviting you to step into that change?
Wanting to have new opportunities to learn and grow, and wanting to be more challenged, dominated the responses to the first question. Internal drivers reflected shifting priorities and personal values. Often, the external factors were attributed to social or romantic relationships and their parenting of their kids, and seeing other people in their network doing cool stuff.
The conversation expanded to a fourth natural question.
How do you know for sure you’re on the right track?
These women unanimously celebrated together that you don’t. I say celebrated because the moment they agreed that you may not know if you’re on the right track and that you can perhaps never be sure was the moment the tone in the Zoom room changed. Because no matter their education, their ambition or their success, they individually thought they were the only ones who were doubting. Collectively they took a breath.
Together, these women supported each other in understanding that you can never, ever be 100% sure…
That if you listen to your gut, you’re honoring your lived experiences and instincts.
That the happiness and joy you feel at the thought of a particular change is the sign you’ve been waiting for.
That there will always be questions and doubts and different options to weigh
That once you make the decision, it’s the right decision for you at that time.
That if it’s not working for you, you can move on.
That you can always “go back” or turn around.
Taking a step back isn’t moving backward. It’s moving forward in a new way.
Think about an opportunity that’s coming for you in the next year, either in your career, your life, or your relationships. What happens if you let go of having to “know” and embrace the change as an opportunity to grow, explore, and play?
