A Misfit's Guide to Infiltrating the Old Boys' Club
Today’s blog post is inspired by not one, but TWO clients who have recently been stewing in that dreadful application process to ye olde boys clubbe.
If you’re not familiar with it, the Old Boys' Club is a long-standing bastion of tradition, white supremacy, exclusivity, and oftentimes outdated norms. To have club membership means you have a place at the table, that you’re firmly entrenched in the status quo, and that you’re most likely willing to compromise the things that make you special in order to go with the flow. Also, you may have a physical or figurative penis.
For too long, non-traditional, unexpected, glitterbomb leaders have fought for a spot in this club. It’s been presented as the only way to get things done. The only way to advance. The only way to be seen as a thought leader or an authority figure. To be very clear, while this club appears most often in workplace settings, it 100% appears in volunteer organizations, community memberships, pilates studios…
How do you fight so hard to be part of a group that clearly doesn’t value what you’re equipped with? How can you infiltrate without giving yourself away?
Here’s my tried-and-true process:
Before you attempt to infiltrate, do your research. What’s the social history of the group? Who are the key players? What’s their influence and reach? Basically, what are you willingly getting yourself into?
Network strategically and build alliances, preferably with people who can vouch for your abilities and what you can contribute but who are already like-minded in diversity and inclusion (and, who may be supporting of you creating change just by being a member)
Showcase your expertise and confidence, with a balanced assertion of your abilities and ideas without coming across as arrogant or dismissive. Do this in arenas where the club can see you doing your thing in your element, and can see how others respond to your impact and value
Be willing to listen, learn, and adapt (within reason) while challenging biases – we don’t get quiet or small
Be persistent, because breaking in isn’t going to happen overnight, and even once it does there may be an orientation period that feels like you’re having to prove yourself all over again
And once you’ve gained that coveted entrance… well what then?
Oh glitterbomb: if you take anything away from this blog, I hope it’s this: joining the old boys club is going to feel like an exercise in making yourself smaller, quieter, and less colorful. It’s not. It's an opportunity.
You’re not there to blend in with the paint, but to stand out. Embrace your quirks and revel in your unique style.
Be nerdy and unconventional, and whether you're discussing the latest advancements in quantum physics or pondering the profound impact of cats on the internet, let your thoughts roam free like a unicorn on rollerblades!
Find your allies in unexpected spaces who appreciate you for what makes you different. Allow the club members the safety and freedom to dial-up the things they’ve spent years dimming.
Showcase your skillset and your way of doing things. In a world where status quo and monotony have been valued, you’ll find you’ll work less hard to stand out (which can be good and bad) but you’ll find new ways to make your particular talents and techniques your secret weapons (which is always good)
Disrupt. The objective is to challenge the norm, spark conversations, and remind everyone that change is invigorating (I’m no longer accepting the notion that change is scary. When we don’t know what’s coming, sure… be apprehensive.)
Remember, it's not about fitting in but rather standing tall and confident in who you are.
So go forth and be the catalyst of change, sparking a legacy for misfits everyone. The Old Boys' Club will never be the same again!
Or really, we can just create our own club. But that’s a blog post for a different month.
