11/10

Before we get started, I want to remind you: I am not a licensed and trained mental health professional or therapist. So when we start to talk about perfectionism, sometimes the topics of anxiety, or OCD come into the mix. If you believe you need mental health support, please find that for yourself. And if you need help, I will gladly support you by connecting you with resources to get this help and to bring it into your life, because you deserve to be whole and happy. Sometimes when we talk about perfectionism, we start to straddle the fence into the world of therapy and mental health. So just to be responsible, and to protect you and your beautiful souls….<end disclaimer>

. . .

I am a recovering perfectionist.

I really am. 

And for many, many years, I tried to convince myself and a lot of people around me that I was a healthy perfectionist.  I wouldn't start doing things or learning new things unless I knew that I could do them. Really, really well. If I could be outstanding at A Thing… 

I also would work and overwork and rework things that were potentially good enough because I had unrealistic expectations, or I wanted to go above and beyond.  I didn't want to under-promise and under-deliver so I always over-promised and over-delivered.  Sound familiar?

In the long run, I was making myself miserable trying to achieve something for myself that was potentially unattainable, and I was exhausting myself trying to get there. 

So to my fellow perfectionists out there, and I know that you are there: I invite you to cut yourself some slack.  I invite you to set some realistic I Wants*. I invite you to find ways to shush your imposter inner voice so that you are not competing against an unrealistic image of yourself in your own mind.

As you're doing your work day-to-day, your perfectionism is holding you back. It's keeping you from doing things that you might find fun, or that might help you grow in ways you cannot imagine. 

Figure out what really is the best that you can do. Because– I shit you not– the best that you can do is really the absolute best. It's more than enough. It's more than good enough.  Find and celebrate the imperfections because that's what will make it memorable; the little blips, the little hiccups, the things that you learn from “fail hard, fail harder”. The moment you shed this idea of “I have to do it right,” you will grow and explore and have joy in the day-to-day things.  

So from one recovering perfectionist to another, it is very, very possible to practice letting go of your perfectionist tendencies and just enjoy being the incredible badass that you actually are. And there’s a whole uproarious community here to support you, too.

*Even though I encourage you to have an I Want that makes you both excited and nauseous, this statement shouldn’t bring more stress into your life.